Not for Teacher

As an English major in college, I have met an abudance of people who plan on going to teach high school after graduation. For awhile there I thought I was going to do the same thing; in fact, if you spoke to the English advisor she would tell you that I am on the pre-secondary ed. track as of my second semester freshman year. Sometime between then and now I've come to realize that I despise everything it means to become and be a teacher. The required classes are so freaking innane. From diversity class to educational technologies class (thank fuck all future generations of teachers will know how to effectively use powerpoint, they sure as hell will nonetheless be utterly incapable of operating a goddamn dvd player, it is in their genes-truth), the secondary ed. program just wreaks of waste of time. I am speaking from experience here, as I have taken two required classes, both involved more busy work than a beehive (har har, by the by, this is totally the kind of joke people teaching courses like "educational psychology" tell).



Though the stupidity of those classes can no longer bother me, the people who take them do. I do not feel sorry for someone who has to drive an hour two times a week to observe a class that they claim "smells bad" and is full of students that cannot read anywhere near their own grade level. These people don't give one iota toward the poverty-stricken students who are forced to spend 40 hours a week in the smelly, shitty schools which are systematically destroying their future and any chance to send the next generation to a better school. Rather, the main thought is something like 'how the hell am i gonna get wasted sunday night and wake up in time to sit and do nothing for two hours in a room that smells bad?' These go-getters, for the most part, whine and whine about how there will be no teaching jobs for them when they graduate. Yes, unemployment looms. Why? Because all our future teachers will be just devastated if they cannot find that job in that school in their old suburban neighborhood. Godforbid any of the people leading the 'children of the future' show a willingness to work where there might be some black people, or some poor people-you know, the places that actually need good and passionate teachers? Diversity class is really doing the trick, too bad they don't teach pre-eds. to be diverse in their level of selfishness and douchebagness.



I could have done something about this; wanted to do Teach for America. Think I would have made a good applicant, so did the attractive man. And yet, I realized that I couldn't risk missing out on that and subsequently missing out on law school. Hopefully as a law student/attorney i will be able to work for public interest/education reform/labor law/anything that actually helps the people who need it. If not, I'm a dickhead and hypocrite; let this post be proof of that, it might very well condemn me in a few years. Goddamn loans.

You guys like beats that go thump thump that sound like the history channel?

For about three years now I've spent one night every two months trying to hunt down a demo tape that changed my life. In spring of 2003, my band was interrupted during what was probably our second rehersal ever of the "New Orleans Song." This jam was infamous in that it marked our guitarist Matt's first time busting out the wah pedal. He got so hooked to it, that some may maintain it is what lead to his getting kicked out, a subsequent feud, and a hilarious song, but I digress. Anyway, during this practice a blue motorbike pulls up to the open garage in which we were playing. A tall, skinny, blonde man somewhat resembling Ben Eager (google that shit, folks) stepped out to compliment us on our "blastin tune." Immediately, I expected this guy to be Clive Davis, or some other industry hubaloo, offering us something as career-making as a club show. However, as it turns out, said guy was much more concerned with promoting his own, Blue-Island based "skinhead band" that had thumping precussion and seemed like it could be straight out of "The History of WWII." Well, being the big oxymoron and unseen fans we were at the time, the boys of Last Breath were quite pumped to hear this skinhead band. No more than five minutes later, the bike, the man, and a chrsitmas themed demo tape were back to the garage, fulfilling our desire.



The cover of the tape itself needs a pretty thorough explanation. At first glance there is a neatly dranw snowman as seen through a nearby window; quite the winter scene. Christmas lights brightly adorned the edges of the tape's homemade cover. I remember Matt quite distinctly saying that it was a nice cover; he had not yet realized that the snow man sported a Hitler mustache, schwastika, and was gesturing in a rather anti-semetic way. The gallows, alluding to the hit single of the tape, in the background were a nice touch. Indeed, we had gotten our hands on a rare "Christmas in Auscwhitz" holiday treat from the band Crusaders of Kight/Dark Crusaders/god, I wish I could remember. Any hope that this was some tongue-in-cheek joke was lost when the lead synth player/vocalist of the band forced us to listen to the tape while he gauged our neo-nazi enthusiasm. The 8 songs included some gems such as the aforementioned "Gallows," "Aryan Drummerboy" "White Christmas" "Christmas in Auschwitz." I swear there was nothing more horrifying and remarkable than seeing our new friend air pound on the synth part to "Christmas in Buchenwald" (they weren't the most diversley titled songs, but Nazis aren't exactly big on diversity, so I guess this was appropriate-heh) anticipating Matt's parents pulling up to the driveway in Steve the SUV.

Once the nazi left, rather than "make copies of the tape to hand out to friends at school" as was suggested, Last Breath and the Murtaugh brothers found a nearby field, took a gallon of gasoline, one match and lit the tape-artwork and all-into oblivion, a rather fitting end all things considered. This is where my problem sets in. Why couldn't we have at least saved the Hitler snowman as proof that this awful thing really existed? So many people around me act like racism extreme nationalism, and a sense of white supremacy can be a-ok if exhibited in a half-hearted kind of manner; that, and some, just really buy into that bullshit. The nazi man in his big sun glasses, blue motor bike, wifebeater, playing his air synth that sounds like the history channel is such a wonderful reminder of just how fucktardian and toolish people who think they are part of a superior race/culture/clique/etc. always seem to be. So thank you Crusaders of the Knight, or whatever the hell you were called, for always offering a nice reminder of how not to look/act/play music/and just all around live.